Hey guys
I am back with another crisis, lol. Well life in highschool can be really frustating and boy is it not suddenly ten times harder when you get into your senior year. I will be doing typed out story times of my experience in highschool and they're pretty funny so you should take a look at that in the near future!
Anyways I realized that I feel sorry for myself way too much than I should and it sucks because I always end up so moppy and teary. Yeah my life is like a never ending Titanic movie, (here you go again Rue fussing over nothing *rolls eyes*). I am not happy with anything going on and I have decided that maybe its just me. Maybe I'm making my situation way worse than it is. I have never been one of those outgoing people, I have high social anxiety ( as my friend likes to call it inferiority complex) and I can't converse with other humans because my parents made me a gated child. So any interaction that's outside school is totally avoided because I'm weird.
I once posted something on twitter a while ago stating why I am like this and things I'm not comfortable doing and even my friends thought I was sort of a freak, which actually hurt but you know me , I'm always laughing in public so I have decided though a few things in my life:
I will stop feeling sorry for myself
Life is really too short for me to complain about things I can't change, things like my apppearance, my personality. If someone is going to stick around, they need to accept me for who I am no matter what the circumstance. I need people who feel like sunshine or a great evening stroll. I have friends that have made me feel so insecure about myself but I just can't let myself tell them that I don't want their negativity because guess who they come to when they need advice? MEE . FLIPPING ME!
I need to start doing more
I want to have so many memories when I'm older about things I did, wild things and not the plain jane things I've been doing. I need to try new things. I finally went to a poetry recital, and performed in front of an audience, even though I got the lowest grade before an ungraded. It showed me that at least I was up for trying out things and getting over my fear of being surrounded by so many eyes and judgement and I'm happy with that
I need to Prioritize people who matter
I need to really only associate myself with postive energy, just love, light and kindness basically.
I need to stop letting people's words get to me
I have a problem with taking things to heart that people say because they don't really care how that makes me feel.
I just need to be happy with the weird utter mess that I am :)